


I'll Be Your Best Kept Secret (And Your Biggest Mistake)

by PrettySami



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Abuse of Authority, Bruises, Crying, Face-Fucking, Fingering, First Time, Forced Orgasm, Guilt, Levi No, Look At Your Life Look At Your Choices, Lots of tears, M/M, Non-Consensual, Rape, Underage - Freeform, bloody nose, gagging
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-22
Updated: 2013-12-26
Packaged: 2018-01-05 12:20:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1093811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrettySami/pseuds/PrettySami
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Surprisingly, Levi’s lip twitched upwards in the ghost of a smile. “Fine,” he said pulling his body out of Eren’s personal space. “If I can’t fuck you I’ll fuck your cute little boyfriend, Arlert.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [jenovasilver](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jenovasilver/gifts).



Eren was shoved hard against the wall of his sleeping quarters in the basement. “Do it,” Levi breathed into his face. Eren shook his head fractionally, turquoise eyes widening with fear. Just what was the Corporal asking him to do? Eren was loyal to a fault and truthfully there was really no one he could tell if the Corporal had his way with him. Who would believe the Titan Shifter?

Surprisingly, Levi’s lip twitched upwards in the ghost of a smile. “Fine,” he said pulling his body out of Eren’s personal space. “If I can’t fuck you I’ll fuck your cute little boyfriend, Arlert.”

Eren’s hands fisted at his sides uselessly. “A-armin?” 

“ _Oui_ ,” Levi said turning to seek the boy out. “I’m sure he’ll be considerably more… _willing_.”  
How the hell was Levi being so fucking calm about this? Where the fuck was his humanity? Soliciting Eren for sex was one thing, but taking Armin was entirely another. His best friend was delicate. If anything happened to him…Eren would be entirely responsible. Because he refused to be the fucktoy of his superior. He could take it and get over it but Armin…

“Wait!” Eren called as Levi’s palm hovered over the doorknob. He grinned while his back was still turned, knowing he’d won. But when he turned to face the 15 year old his face was as calm and placid as ever. He arched an eyebrow curiously.

“You can… I mean… with me…” Eren blushed scarlet and spoke haltingly to the floor.

“ _Pardon_? You’ll have to speak up brat,” Levi replied. 

“You can fuck me,” he looked up into the silver eyes watching him carefully. “You can do anything you want with me, only please leave Armin alone.”

 _Oh, so that was it? Well, then._ Levi pretended to consider the offer then turned back to the closed door. “No,”  
“What!?” Eren’s startled yelp made Levi want to giggle. “Why? No!” Eren started forward as if to grab Levi but stopped abruptly, remembering his place. The corporal was watching him over his shoulder. Tears had started to flow and how Levi wanted very much to kiss and lick them from those insolent cheeks. But no. A lesson must be learned here. “I’ll do anything,” Eren gasped between sobs. “Anything.”

That was more like it. 

“You do it then.” Levi said quietly.

Eren hiccupped in confusion.

“You fuck him. Tonight. And never disobey me again, brat.” It wasn’t a request so he didn’t leave room for an answer. “You have until midnight. I believe you know what’s at stake here. And if you value anything you won’t dare try and explain this… situation. Do you understand?”

Eren nodded slowly.

“ _Bonsoir_.” Levi replied and turned to vacate the room.

Eren stood stock-still watching the door shut. Tears flowed silently down his cheeks and he sank to the floor. What could he do? Armin was his best friend. He couldn’t even explain the situation to him so he’d understand, so he wouldn’t hate him. And that was it. Armin wouldn’t hate him. Armin would forgive him. He always forgave him for everything. But things would never be the same between them. No more sharing a bed after a particularly close call with the Titans. No more talking in hushed tones about the outside world, about seeing it together, before falling asleep.

Eren pressed his hands to his face and sniffled. In the distance he heard a bell toll the time. 

_Nine o’ clock._

There wasn’t much time. He got to his feet shakily, wiping his face on his hands and shirt. At about this time Armin was in the library compiling notes and gathering information regarding Titans. Eren grasped the heavy key under his shirt for courage and left his room to seek out his friend.

\---

Armin scoured the dusty shelves of the library. Corporal Levi hadn’t had a hand in cleaning this room so it still had been noticeably neglected. The short boy rubbed at the spines of the books until he came to the one he wanted and yanked on it. It came loose with surprising ease causing the unsuspecting Armin to pitch backward. He braced himself for a collision with the table behind him and the inevitable concussion that was sure to follow.

However his fall was intercepted by a warm body. Blue eyes stared up through golden bangs. “Eren, hi!” Armin stood with Eren’s assistance. The brunette jerked away awkwardly after helping his friend and stared at the floor. An expression of internal struggle on his flushed face. “Eren… is something wrong?”

Eren wanted very desperately to blurt, ‘Yes! I’m being forced to rape you! Please help me!’ But instead he shook his head. “What are you studying?” He asked weakly.

Armin brightened, “Just a few things on Titan anatomy, I feel like I might be close to…Eren are you sure nothing’s wrong?” Armin was getting a weird feeling. He just couldn’t place it…

“No,” Eren said and sat down at the table laden with the blonde’s books and notes. He glanced sideways at the clock _(nine forty-five)_. It had taken some time to hunt down a little oil for his ‘task.’ He’d had to wait outside the kitchen until he could borrow some unnoticed. “Do you need any help?” 

Armin never really needed help with things like this but he could tell his friend wanted to spend some time with him so he nodded and smiled. 

They worked silently till about ten-thirty. Eren had been glancing anxiously at the clock for the past fifteen minutes and Armin asked, “Are you supposed to be doing something else? Meeting someone?”

Again Eren shook his head. He got up then and walked to the front of the library under the pretense of getting more paper. They were the only ones there. He moved to lock the library door and muffled the soft ‘click’ of the lock with the hem of his shirt. He made his slow return to Armin, eyes cast down, knowing what he had to do and almost sick with having to do it.

Armin was standing at the table, back to Eren in a stretch. “I think I’m calling it a night Eren.” His best friend didn’t reply. He only came forward to press his body to the shorter boy who gasped and jumped forward toward the table. He turned as best he could, what with Eren crowding him. When blue eyes met dewy turquoise ones Armin inhaled sharply. “Eren, what-?”

“I’m sorry,” whispered Eren. He raised a shaky hand to tug at the material of the blonde’s uniform. Neither of them wore 3DMG so late in the day but they had precious little clothing and the castle was drafty. In a swift movement the taller boy twisted the little jacket Armin wore behind him, effectively restraining his arms. Eren then turned him, pressing his face into the hard wood of the table. 

Armin squeaked audibly, “Eren wait, what are you-?” Eren could hear the fear in his voice and his grip loosened for a second. What the hell was he doing? How would Levi even know if he’d “completed his task” anyway? It wasn’t like he was nearby watching.

Then again, he probably was.

Eren blinked tears he didn’t know had formed from his eyes and strengthened his grip. The sooner he got this over with the better. With his free hand, he reached around Armin’s hip to undo his fly. Armin gave a shout and squirmed. “If you keep making noise,” Eren nearly sobbed. “I’ll-I’ll gag you.” He couldn’t believe his own ears.

And apparently neither could Armin. “Eren,” he whined incredulously and Eren was glad he couldn’t see his face.

When Armin’s pants were down around his knees Eren stood and placed a trembling hand on the pale flesh of his best friend’s backside, separating the cheeks slightly. He’d desired men in the past, Armin especially—making this all the worse—and had a working knowledge about sex with another male. He fished the little vial of oil out of his pocket and tugged the cork out with his teeth. The popping sound brought a temporary halt to the struggling. “What was that? Eren?”

Eren could tell he was terrified and so didn’t look at him or offer a reply. Instead he undid his own pants, poured a little of the oil on his (curiously) half-hard, cock and a little into Armin’s tight opening. When oil met flesh the blonde began alternately writhing and shaking. He seemed to know what was coming and wasn’t sure if he should be trying to escape or holding still so it didn’t hurt as much…

The titan shifter pressed a trembling finger into the boy, stopping all movement from both parties. Armin was giving it his all now, just as he did that day at the Wall when he was defending Eren. He did so much for Eren. He was such a good friend, And Eren was horrible. He was the worst kind of person. _Why didn’t he just say ‘yes’ to Levi?_ None of this would even be happening.

He slowly worked his finger in and out for a moment or two and then added a second finger. Armin gasped and cried harder. “Eren, please! D-don’t do this!” Eren pushed his fingers in past his second knuckle and squeezed his eyes closed as if that could shut out the cries. To his utter shame, Eren felt that he himself was fully hard. Even in this situation he couldn’t stop his body from reacting to the object of his affections. The only person Eren had ever loved and lusted after.

He wished this could be different. That they could be older, cuddling together while Armin read to them from his secret blasphemous book. But now those dreams were surely dead. With this one act all of that was behind them. Armin would never be able to trust Eren again. Not completely. 

He worked silently from then on. Not sure how wide the opening should be. He’d heard stories of people bleeding if they rushed or were…raped and even after all this he didn’t want to hurt Armin. But the twisted jacket had to be cutting off circulation by now, and a bruise would be forming on the cheek he’d pushed into the table, and was that blood trickling from his nose? 

It was dawning on him that his plans for this being quick and gentle were laughable. He tugged his three slippery fingers from the blonde who had dissolved into tearful sniffles. Every so often Eren would hear him breathe the words, ‘stop’ or ‘please’ but when he pressed his embarrassingly hard cock to the boy he seemed to break. His cheek pressed into the rough wood of the table as he relaxed his neck. His hips fell forward as his legs stopped kicking. Even his labored breathing slowed, allowing only the occasional choked ‘No, Eren.'

Eren felt like utter shit but pressed on anyway. And there was no way he could stifle his moan as he slid himself in to the blonde to the hilt. Armin gasped and wept silently. “I’m so, so sorry,” Eren moaned, face red with some combination of humiliation and guilt. “I have-“

“It’s ok.” Armin whispered. It really wasn’t, though and Eren knew it. “I know something’s wrong. I know-”

Eren drove in deeper to shut his friend up. He didn’t know. _He didn’t!_ He didn’t know anything about this whole fucked up situation. Why did he have to be so kind? Why did he have to try and be so understanding? Even in situations like this?

Eren pulled out a tiny bit, gently and took several measured breaths; trying his hardest not to enjoy this. He grunted and dug the fingers of his free hand into Armin’s hip when he pushed back in. He went on like that slowly and his best friend whimpered beneath him. He froze when he tapped something that made Armin mewl, tightening around him. 

Something like a jolt of electricity traveled through his body at the sound. Until now his thrusts had been short and unrefined. This time however, hoping to hurry toward his climax, he’d worked himself in a little deeper and found what must be Armin’s prostate. Both boys were moaning now and Eren couldn’t speak for his friend but he wasn’t sure if it was still against his will or not. He kept up the movements, trying hard to create some semblance of pleasure for his trapped friend.

Except he wasn’t trapped anymore. 

At some point he’d let go of the jacket and Armin’s arms hung limply while the blood relocated itself back to the limbs. Eren shivered and rolled into Armin as his climax overtook him. His eyelids fluttered, wanting more but at the same time hating himself for it. It was more intense than any orgasm he’d ever brought on by his own hand. He spilled messily inside Armin, still too young to know exactly when to pull out. 

Apologies tumbled forth as he coaxed Armin’s limp body into a standing position. He turned the smaller boy so that they were facing each other and sure enough, a purple bruise bloomed across his cheek. His crystalline blue eyes were red-rimmed and his face was flushed and tear stained. He looked downward and away from Eren, blonde hair acting as a shield. Eren was surprised to find Armin’s own cum smeared on the inside of his thigh as he knelt to pull up his pants. He looked up into his face, still resolutely pointed away and saw shame there…

The brunette stood suddenly and apologized once more before he fled, leaving little Armin disheveled and leaning against the table in the dim empty library, wracked with dry sobs.

\---

Eren stumbled into the hallway and wretched. Bracing his hand on the wall he threw up his guts and spat on the floor. Disgusted with himself. With his actions. He felt like he’d killed something. And in truth he had. He’d destroyed something he could never get back. There was the tapping of footsteps behind him; someone was approaching slowly.

“I hope you know you _will_ be cleaning that up.” Levi’s voice sounded disgusted but not surprised. “So. Were you each other’s first?” He didn’t wait for an answer. “ _Charmant_. What did we learn?”

“N-not to disobey your orders, Corporal.” Eren panted, still staring at the pool of vomit at his feet.

“Just this one time or ever?”

“Ever, Corporal.” Eren whispered. He wanted to cry but had no tears left.

“Good. Now clean this up, brush your teeth, shower and be in my quarters in an hour.” Levi turned on his heel and headed, presumably to his quarters. So distracted was Eren with his tangle of emotions that he didn’t even notice the blue eye taking in the whole scene from the cracked door of the library.


	2. Chapter 2

Levi strolled back to his private quarters at a leisurely pace. After all, he had a whole hour to kill. He entered his room and tugged off his boots. He worked his cravat loose and placed his jacket on the back of a chair. He then sauntered to the bedside table to get the half-empty bottle of lube out. He’d been busy lately and alone. But all that was about to change because now he had a new adorable toy to play with, whenever he wanted. 

 

He thought fleetingly if he should fuck the Arlert kid anyway, just to prove a point. But really there was no need for it. Eren would behave now and that was all Levi wanted. Still, it was annoying that he’d had to threaten the boy…

 

There was a soft knock at the door. “Come in,” Levi called and Eren obeyed, closing the door behind him. His teal eyes were fixed to the floor and his still-damp hair stuck up at odd angles as if he’d quickly rubbed it dry with a towel. Levi didn’t offer him a seat and he didn’t ask for one, he stood just inside the room in his t-shirt and thin cotton pajama bottoms.

 

The corporal made a show of slowly undoing his fly. “Come here,” he said, gesturing to the floor in front of him. Eren reacted without hesitation and Levi could barely contain his grin. “Have you ever sucked cock before, Jaeger?”

 

Their eyes met and Eren shook his head. It was something he had wanted to try with Armin… “First time for everything then, eh? On your knees, I suppose I don’t have to tell you to keep your teeth out of the equation.” Eren knelt silently and reached up to gently take Levi out of his pants. He stroked the Corporal’s stiffening length somewhat gingerly and his brows furrowed slightly. He had the basic idea of how to do this so he tried not to stall lest Levi chastise him. He opened his mouth wide and rested the head on his tongue. He lapped at the leaking tip eliciting sighs from Levi’s slightly parted lips.

“ _Bon oui,_ ” he murmured and raised his hips, pushing himself deeper into Eren’s wet mouth. When he felt his tip tapping the back of the boy’s throat he tangled his fingers in the brunette locks. Eren was afraid he’d choke but after a few seconds Levi mercifully pulled back a little. 

Eren was alternately trying to catch his breath and trying to swallow his Corporal. Saliva ran freely down his chin and Levi dragged the hand in his hair down to caress one of his cheeks. “Don’t worry, we'll practice; you’ll get better at it.” Eren hummed a response and caused the older man to shudder and press his thighs together around the flushed face between them. 

Eren went on sucking him for a little while learning what made the man gasp and moan. Every so often Levi’s hips would jerk forward and Eren really would choke. If he could cry tears would be running down his cheeks at the effort. But he just gagged lightly; feeling so emotionally drained that he couldn’t believe he was hard again. He didn’t dare touch himself, fearing Levi’s wrath. And when he went to stroke the man his hands were batted away dismissively. So instead, Eren dug his fingers into Levi’s rear and took as much as he could. He could taste the salt of his precome and the other more raw taste of Levi’s flesh.  
Once he was in to the hilt, Levi began an agonizingly slow fucking of Erin’s mouth. He dragged his fully hardened cock over Eren’s teeth and ground against the back of his throat. Erin emitted a broken whine when he was able to get enough air and Levi eased up. “Mmm,” he groaned as he slid from the slippery warmth. “Up.” He said abruptly and stood so quickly Eren narrowly avoided being poked in the eye by his dripping cock. 

The boy got to his feet shakily. His vision blurred slightly as he nearly toppled onto the bed. Levi gave him a little push and arranged his loose limbs so that he was on all fours. He tugged Eren’s pajama pants down enough to expose his ass and muttered appreciatively. Silver eyes roamed over the taught toned cheeks of his subordinate. He grabbed the lube and drizzled it on the inner most part the brunette’s rear end then gave his drooling member the same treatment. 

If Eren was scared he didn’t voice it and honestly, it wasn’t like Levi would stop or listen. He hastily scissored the boy open and Eren grunted at each addition of a finger. He knew Levi was nearing completion and didn’t want to waste too much time prepping his _toy_. That’s why the sudden rub of something thicker and wider didn’t exactly surprise him; but the sound he heard himself make did. He wasn’t enjoying it exactly but he didn’t hate it either. It stung and he felt very full. Levi was gracious enough to slide in slowly and wait a second or two for Eren to adjust. But when he saw his shoulders relax and a droplet of come ooze onto the scrunched up pajama bottoms he took it as a sign to proceed.

He rambled nonsensically into Eren’s ear between pants and moans. “You’re mine, brat. I’ll fuck you mmm…every night if I want. Ah! You hear me brat?” He thrust in sharply, ramming into the bundle of nerves that was Eren’s prostate and he gasped, “Yes! Yes, corporal!”

“Oh? That’s it huh?” Levi growled and slammed into that spot again making the brunette cry out. “Don’t you have any shame? Moaning like a slut…you’ll wake everyone in the barracks.”

“Y-yes corporal,” Eren answered breathlessly, not sure if he was supposed to answer. It wasn’t long before Levi was spilling excessively into the boy’s tight asshole. Droplets of come squeezed out on either side of the softening flesh of Levi’s cock. 

Eren didn’t even realize until then that the man hadn’t worn a condom. He and Armin were both virgins but he had no idea how many other people Levi had…

There was a loud slap to his backside then, bringing him back to reality. “Oi, brat. Get out of my room.” Eren seemed stunned but what did he expect? He wasn’t there for his own pleasure. Only Levi’s. 

He wobbled once he’d gotten back to his feet and felt the evidence of their coupling dripping down the back of his thigh. “Don’t make a mess of my floor brat,” Levi warned. Eren tried to hold himself together as he waddled out of the room and closed the door. He’d need another shower.

\---

Armin laid facing the wall of the shared barracks, unable to sleep and avoiding contact with the pillow on the bruised side of his face. He’d briefly wondered what the corporal could’ve wanted from his best friend as he snuck out of the library. But even through his pain induced haze he was able to put two and two together: Levi made him do this. But why? _Why?_

His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of stumbling bare feet on the hardwood floor just outside the door. The only door on that end of the corridor was the one to the basement and Eren’s quarters. Armin heard a clothed shoulder make contact with the stone wall. He slipped out of bed and followed Eren (who else would it be) who swayed on his feet. His hair was wet and his sleeping clothes clung to him as if he’d showered but hadn’t bother to dry off properly.

Eren made his way down the stairs and into the basement. He tumbled into his bed and laid there, unmoving for several seconds. Armin watched from around the corner. He could hear Eren saying something; repeating the same words over and over like a mantra. He approached quietly and wasn’t able to make out what the other boy was whispering until he was almost touching the bed. “...a monster. I am a monster. I am…I’m a monster…” 

Armin placed a hand on Eren’s back. He tensed but only for a second and Armin eased himself onto the bed. He rubbed small circles in Eren’s damp back, not sure how much physical attention he could take at the moment. The brunette’s breathing evened out eventually and he sat up, cross-legged, and stared resolutely at the bedclothes. Armin wanted so badly to pull his friend into his arms and tell him it was ok. That he knew what was going on but instead he tugged at his shirt. “It’s chilly down here. You’ll catch a cold if you sleep in wet clothes…” at first Eren didn’t move, he just sat silently. “I know you have another shirt to sleep in,” Armin said and stood to dig through the tiny dresser on the far side of the room. “Everyone has two pairs of pjs.” He spoke more to himself than to Eren. When he turned back to face the bed he saw Eren watching him with the most hurt and broken look in his eyes.

Armin hurried back, clutching the pajamas to his chest. “What did he do to you?” Eren shook his head and looked down again. “Did he…?” but really Armin already knew the answer. 

“Derserved,” Eren’s voice cracked. “I deserved it after…” this time Armin shushed him with a tight hug. 

“No, I know what happened. It’s ok-“

“But it’s not,” Eren husked.

Armin sat back and tugged the damp clothes off Eren’s limp form replacing them with the dry ones. He then lifted a corner of the blankets and coaxed Eren under them. He got in next to his best friend and moved so that they faced each other and held him tight. Armin cooed forgiveness into Eren’s ears. His fingers rubbed at his back and eventually the older boy responded, gripping the blonde’s shirt with shaking fingers and tangling their legs together. “Thought I’d never be able to do this again. Touch you again. Thought I’d never be able to tell you how much I…”

Armin felt his face get hot. Was that almost a love confession? He didn’t want that now. Not after the ordeal they’d been through. He wanted it when it was pure and soft after a peaceful day of spending time with Eren. He moved away slightly and kissed the taller boy’s face. He kissed the lids of his closed eyes, his cheeks, and ears. Trying to kiss and heal every part he could reach. “As long as we have each other, we’ll be ok Eren.”

“I hope so,” Eren mouthed into Armin’s golden hair. And he really did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A better person would be ashamed to have posted this. I am not that person. [Here have a doodle to make yourself feel better after reading that.](http://fdwoodward.tumblr.com/post/71123523074/jenovasilver-requested-the-lads-in-similar) Merry Christmas!


End file.
